Talking Truth to Ourselves

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint (Isaiah 40:28-31).

We recently started attending a group at church where we’re reading The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges. Each week, we go to our corners and read a chapter. Then, we all come back together to discuss how we are thinking and how we are processing what God seems to be doing in each of our lives. There are about 20 of us, and we are such a diverse group. It’s great to hear how everyone is striving to live a life of holiness while at the same time trying to rest in God’s amazing grace.

Chapter 3, “Preach the Gospel to Yourself,” was monumental for us when we first read it. Years ago, it was almost as if a light had been turned on when we ran across this concept. Indeed, nothing has motivated our desire for holiness and our confidence in the grace of God as has our daily reminders of the good news of the gospel.

It’s important to speak truth to yourself. Even for those of us who are Christians, it’s important to be about the work of regularly preaching the gospel to ourselves. If we don’t remind ourselves often of God’s truth, we are sure to sink into legalistic, performance-based, and discouraging thinking that is not of God.

As we wait on word about our Benjamin, we are having to talk truth to ourselves on a minute-by-minute basis. When we think about how we wish we could go and get him soon, and when we think about the fact that we can’t go until somebody tells us we can go, it’s easy to get restless. We’re tempted to be frustrated. If we're not careful, we can quickly grow weary.

We didn’t pass court on February 22, and not only were we assigned a court date of March 9—we were also told that the United States Embassy in Ethiopia may start taking a bit longer to process adoptions than before. This means that our travel to bring Benjamin home could take place later than we had originally hoped. We’re glad that all i’s will be dotted and that all t’s will be crossed, but we sure do want to get over there as soon as we can.

While there is nothing we can do but wait, we remind ourselves of God’s truth. Benjamin gets older every day as we wait, but we are forced to look to that truth which is constant, unchanging and eternal.

We certainly don’t feel it right now, but we are confident that God is working his purpose in all things. We sure are looking to Romans 8:28 a lot these days. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

We recently received photos of Benjamin from a couple in Kentucky who just returned from Ethiopia. They went there to get their two children, and while they were there they were gracious to hold Benjamin for us, to give him a care package from us, and to take lots of photos of him for us. (We can't wait to be able to post pictures of Benjamin!) It’s hard not to look at those pictures of him and think, Why can’t we be there? Why can’t we go get him? Can’t we just get on with this? We’re missing out on being together as a family. But as those thoughts begin to descend upon us, we remind ourselves that there’s a much bigger story being written, and it’s not our story. It’s God’s story—a story which we’ll only be able to partly understand years from now.

Jesus told his disciples, I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world (John 16:33). Followers of God are not guaranteed immunity from tribulation. Difficulty and strain are natural parts of life. However, in the midst of it all we are promised the peace which is in Christ. Again and again, we remind ourselves, do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7).

Although we would like to travel soon, our peace is not found in how quickly we can go get Benjamin. Our peace is not found in our families or our friends, and our peace is not found in our possessions. No. As Paul says, …he himself is our peace… (Ephesians 2:14). Our peace is found in Christ alone.

We sang the following song at church this morning:

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary

You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles
(Chris Tomlin)

Everyone was singing, but we felt as though the song was just for us.

Why We're Adopting

A while back, Todd wrote an article about adoption for our church. Lots of folks were asking us all kinds of great questions. And the overwhelming question seemed to be “Why?” As we now find ourselves waiting, waiting, and waiting even more, we thought the following might give you a little insight into what (and more importantly Who) is motivating us as we travel this exciting journey.

God is doing some great things in the hearts of people at our church. Folks are growing in their desire to live holy lives. Young moms are wanting to be good and godly moms. Husbands are desiring to be good and godly husbands. Young fathers are seeking to be good dads who honor the Lord and raise their family in a godly way. And while these and many other things are happening, God also seems to be stirring in many of us a deeper love for children.

Now we realize that adoption is not for everyone, but we sure are encouraged by the heart for adoption and for children that God seems to be growing among us. Right now, there are several families in our church who are somewhere in the process of adoption!

Several folks have asked us why we’re adopting. There are so many underlying truths compelling us, but here are a few of the realities which are driving us in this journey.

1. We are not sure that there is a better earthly picture of the gospel than adoption. God has loved us with a love that does not quit. He did not have to love us, but he did. God set his loving affection on us—for no reason of our own—and made us his. The Bible says, “For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba Father!’ The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him” (Romans 8:15-17).

Our soon-coming son has done nothing and will do nothing to deserve the love that we are showing him. But we do have love to share, and we can think of no better way to love both him and our current children than to model God’s love in this way.

2. Adopting our son will ensure that he hears the gospel. Now, adopting our son will also ensure a lot of other things. It will certainly ensure a “better life” for him. It will ensure that Jack, William, and Isaac has a baby brother. It will ensure that there is a little more pandemonium in the Brady house. It will ensure yet another grandson for Grandmamma and Grandad to love.

However, the greatest assurance that exists for a child growing up in our home will be the guarantee that he will in fact hear the gospel. There is no greater message which needs to be heard. Kids need a lot of things. They need dads and moms. They need love and security. They need hope and education. But most of all, they need to hear the gospel. The Bible says, “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ” (Romans 10:17).

Benjamin will one day join us on the bed as we get together each night to read, sing, and pray. We look forward to telling him the stories of the Bible—and helping him to know the story of the Bible. We can’t wait to sing with him, and we’re looking forward to us all praying together.

Who knows what he would experience if he were not our son? I can only imagine. He is only one person. One person is only one person, but adopting this one person will ensure that this one person hears the gospel. We are already praying that God would save our son—this one person.

3. We are caring for an orphan and providing him with a good and godly home. We have seen enough videos on You Tube to realize that life is not that great in Ethiopia. Life expectancy for a male in Ethiopia is 52 years, there are .03 physicians for every 1000 people, and the probability of reaching the age of 40 stands at 43.6%—just to list a few statistics. While we would never fully know what his life would be like otherwise, we are compelled by a desire to give him a better life.

4. God’s love is an indiscriminate love—and our love should be, too. Needless to say, our 4th son is going to look a lot different than everyone else in the family. His hair will be curly and his skin will be darker—much darker. However, there will be no difference between Brady boy #1, #2, and #3 and Brady boy #4. We will love him no less, and we will treat him no differently. He will be just as much a Brady as any of the other Bradys, and we can’t wait to love on him just like we do the sons who currently live in our house. In the same vein in which Paul said, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus,” (Galatians 3:28) we will also say that in our house, there is neither American nor foreign, there is neither adopted nor biological, there is neither black nor white, for we are all one in the Brady family.

5. We desire to be obedient to the Great Commission. Jesus said. “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Hoy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:19-20). So often, we think of obedience to the Great Commission as involving our travelling across the street or across the city or across the country or across the ocean to tell someone about Jesus. However, the Great Commission should begin right here at home. Our own children are the first objects of our pursuit of the Great Commission. Before we make disciples of other nations, let us begin with ourselves. We are looking forward to making disciples of all our sons. We are looking forward to teaching all our sons those things which have been commanded to us. For us, adoption is just one other means of being obedient to the Great Commission.

We can hear it now. In a few years, we look forward to our children singing—“that’s the way we all became the Brady Bunch!"

More Waiting...

We were notified this morning that we did not pass court.

An Ethiopian agency supposedly did not provide expected reports for any of the families on the court’s docket there in Addis Ababa, so none of us passed.

A court date for Benjamin has been rescheduled for March 9. We will hurry up and wait.

Needless to say, we wanted to pass court so we might travel to Ethiopia soon. We want to go get Benjamin as soon as possible and bring him home. Now, we are feeling the weight of each long second. With the passing of every 24 hour period, Benjamin gets a day older and our family misses yet another day of being together.

Before the referral came for Benjamin a month ago today, our adoption process was merely that—a process. There was lots of paperwork to complete. We took a day and went to Louisville for fingerprints. We waited on certain documentation to come in the mail. We finally were able to mail off our dossier. It was a long process.

However, now we think not about a process. We think about a person—Benjamin Paul Brady. We’d love to post a photo of him for you to see, but we have been told to not publish his picture until an Ethiopian judge officially declares him to be ours.

Over a year ago, the needs of orphans gripped our hearts and we started the adoption process. Once Benjamin’s picture popped onto our screen, everything changed. The overwhelming reality of over 145 million orphans in the world became intensely personal as we realized that one of those orphans indeed belonged to us.

Amy often wears a necklace with a pendant of the continent of Africa around her neck. Never before has Africa been closer to our hearts.

Waiting increases hopeful anticipation. The Apostle Paul says, For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience (Romans 8:22-25).

Today’s news is an undesired comma in the long story which God has been writing. However, our focus is not on what God gives to us, but on God himself.

Benjamin, we want you to know that our hope is in God. We are waiting. And as Jesus said to his disciples, [we] will not leave you as orphans; [we] will come to you (John 14:18).

We promise.

Waiting

We feel like we’re in a holding pattern. All we can do is wait.

But waiting is a good thing. Expectation builds as we wait, and our prayers only grow. Waiting causes us to look to God like few other things do.

After filling out the mounds of paperwork months ago, we waited to receive a referral. After we received a referral, we waited to get a court date. Now we are waiting on our court date. Next week, we will wait to hear a decision about when we might be able to travel.

Our court date is set for February 22. During our American night on this upcoming Sunday evening, an Ethiopian court will convene during their African day. A judge will decide whether or not Benjamin legally becomes ours. If we “pass court,” we’ll plan on going to get him several weeks later. If we don’t “pass court,” we’ll probably have to wait for another court date in a month.

We sure do hope to pass court!

We hope to soon be waiting to travel to Ethiopia. We hope to soon be sitting on the plane—waiting for it to take off. We hope to soon be waiting in Addis Ababa to get our arms around Benjamin. We hope to soon be coming home and getting our entire family together under one roof.

All of life is a lesson in waiting, and this adoption process has further impressed this fact on us. We’re trying to wait well. We’re also trying to teach our boys to wait well and to pray for their little brother.

Isaac is too young to understand what is happening. Although, if you ask him his little brother’s name, he always replies, “Benj Benj!” We love it.

Jack is our sponge who has been learning so much—especially about the different countries of the world. Before going to bed recently, he told us that he was going to soon make a sock puppet of an Ethiopian boy. It’s his way of waiting.

Several months ago, before William understood that we were going to Ethiopia to get our son, he saw a pregnant woman at church. He looked at her and then turned around and said, “Mommy, is our little brother growing inside her tummy?” Always eager and inquisitive, William is also ready for his little brother to come.

God’s timing is perfect. He is in control. We are on His timetable. We look forward to Benjamin coming home, but in the meantime we’ll all wait—and we’ll trust Him in the process.

Transformed Lives

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another: For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18

We don’t know exactly when it all started, but for some time we’ve had a desire to adopt.

Just before moving to Kentucky several years ago, we had begun investigating international adoption. However, God gave us our third son Isaac—so we had to put our adoption thoughts on hold. In the spring of 2009, we officially started the process by filling out the paperwork. Now, here we are—days away from a court date where we hope an Ethiopian judge will legally declare a child to be ours.

We’ve only seen three photos of Benjamin, but when our little family gathered around the computer to see his pictures, it only took about .4683 seconds for our hearts to bond to him. Todd was at McAlister’s having lunch with a friend. (Johnny Bryant is now Benjamin’s official godfather!) Amy was at Steak and Shake doing the same with the boys. Upon getting the call about the referral, we each abandoned our lunches and rushed home to see the little boy God had given to us. What a great day.

While there is so much we’ll never understand, we are confident that God is bringing us together. For months, our son was nameless and faceless to us. We remember wondering on some days if he had even been born yet. In those days of uncertainty, there were already a lot of first person pronouns being used in our house—“our” son, “my” son, “our” baby brother, “our” family. Then, with the strokes of a few computer keys, it became clearer. Those pronouns, along with our prayers and anticipations multiplied immediately and exponentially.

Benjamin is now in the care of our agency’s transition home, and we are grateful for his care. In addition to a quick union with him, our primary prayer for the little guy is that he would gain weight.

This entire process is opening our eyes to the truth of the gospel. The more we’ve thought about Benjamin, the more God has shown himself to us.

Through this experience, we are further realizing the wonder of the gracious reality that God has set his affection on us. In spite of ourselves, he has committed to us. Through Christ, he has shown his kindness to us. He has extended his faithfulness to us. He has made us his children (See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are 1 John 3:1). He has loved us first (1 John 4:19). He has delivered us from the kingdom of darkness and brought us into the marvelous kingdom of light (1 Peter 2:9). We once were lost, but now we’re found. We once had no hope. Now, Christ is in us—the hope of glory (Colossians 1:27).

Some think it’s wonderful that this little boy’s life is going to be changed.

But truthfully, we are the ones whose lives are being changed.

Our Journey...God's Story

Good news is meant to be shared. When the heart is full, the mouth must speak.

For that reason, we want to share with our friends, family, and others about our exciting journey of adopting our son, Benjamin Paul Brady.

More than just a desire to talk about what is happening in the life of our little family, we desire to share with you what we believe is a work that God is doing.

Ultimately, this blog is not about us. (Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to you name give glory, for the sake for your steadfast love and your faithfulness! Psalm 115:1) What you will read here is about what God is doing and how we are trying our best to follow him.

We have entered into the exciting phase of the adoption process, having just been assigned a court date of February 22. In days ahead, we will be telling more of our story and how God has brought us to where we are now. We hope that you might pray for us, and that the words you read here will cause you to see a clearer picture of our GREAT GOD.