Visiting Orphans...Remembering Their Plight...Doing What We Can

Today we toured two orphanages--one which once housed Benjamin for a few days before he came to our adoption agency's transition home. The visits were tough to endure as the conditions were less than acceoptable, but we of course fell in love with the many children living there. In light of our visit, and in light of the fact that there are over 144,000,000 million orphans in the world, we call your attention to words which we recently wrote on our blog, and we hope that you will consider what your response will be to the plight of orphans in the world.

Are you reading this because you're thinking that adoption might be for you? Perhaps you're considering adoption--something you have never thought about before. Maybe you're sitting there thinking, "A while back, I would have never even considered adoption." Now look at what is happening!

Here are some thoughts that might be helpful to you as you think about going down the road of adoption.

How do you confidently move forward through the process of adoption when so many questions and uncertainties continuously swirl about you? Not only are there your own questions like, “Are we going to be able to pay for this? How is this going to work? Will a new child fit in well with our family?” or “Are we out of our minds?” Others are also asking questions. Sometimes, well-meaning friends and family members ask questions which can sometimes be discouraging and unhelpful. Let’s just admit it. The occasional question flowing from a critical spirit of another person can often be like a cold, wet blanket thrown over expectant parents’ joyful enthusiasm about their soon-coming child.

Traditionally, people in the United States have adopted both domestically and internationally. In 2009, over 12,000 children were adopted from other countries. Adoption currently seems to be growing more popular among Christians as churches are waking up to the mandate to care for orphans (James 1:27). Several families in my church are in the process of adoption, and I know of many others elsewhere.

One of the most repeated questions about international adoption goes something like, “Why would anyone adopt from a foreign country when there are so many children who have needs right here in our own country?”

Indeed, there are truckloads of needs when it comes to the children of our own society. Over 3 million child abuse cases are reported every year in the United States. More than half a million children languish in our foster care system. However, understanding that 147 million orphans live on the planet, the following realities are great reminders as each of us seeks to walk the adoption journey God has laid out for us.

Different People Live Out Their Convictions Differently

The “calling” of God is like a snowflake—no two callings are the same. Each of us certainly has the responsibility to live our lives and do what we feel is best for us. However, all of us are different, and we all go about living our lives in different ways.

When we decided to adopt our son, we found ourselves with three children already and desiring to add to our family as quickly as possible. As what hair Todd did have was quickly turning gray, we each realized that neither of us was getting any younger! So with a desire to minister to a child by bringing him into our family and with a desire to go about doing this as quickly and as affordably as possible, we chose to adopt a male infant from the country of Ethiopia. This was the simplest, quickest, most affordable, and best route for us.

Should everyone adopt a male infant from Ethiopia? Of course not. For us, adopting from Ethiopia is the right thing for us at this time. Is domestic adoption a great way to care for orphans right here in our own country? Absolutely! Whatever you do, be faithful to God, live with conviction, and do what is best for you.

Doing Something is Better than Doing Nothing

Yes, there are millions of needs right around us. Yes, there is much that we can and should do to care for orphans and needy children in our own country. However, the question pitting international adoption against local needs may very well be a veiled disguise of a heart which simply longs to do nothing.

Todd's grandmother used to say, “It takes little size to criticize.” A century ago, Teddy Roosevelt famously said,

It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.

If you are called to do something, don’t allow others to prevent you from doing what you know you are supposed to do.

The Greatness of Needs Everywhere Should Not Prevent Us from Doing Something Somewhere

A boy was walking on the beach. Every so often, he would pick up a starfish and throw it back into the ocean—saving the starfish’s life by tossing it back into the water. Someone said to him, “There are starfish all over the beaches throughout the world. When you think about how many there are, don’t you realize that you’ll never make a significant difference?” The boy thought for a moment, looked at the starfish in his hand and said, “Well, I’m making a difference for this one!”

Truthfully, none of us will ever make a world-wide impact which garners the accolades of millions. However, such a thought should not immobilize us. There are plenty of needs to go around. Let each of us seek to be about meeting needs—alleviating pain and suffering wherever we can.

Ultimately, Each of us is Responsible to God

As I live my life, I must remember that I am to live my life. I do not have the responsibility to live another person’s life. There is only one head which I lay on my pillow each night—mine. And ultimately, I am responsible to God.

In the end, only God and what he thinks matters. In the end, we will all have to answer to him. In the end, the accounting will be with God. As in how I spend my money, how I use my tongue, how I treat my neighbor, how I treat my body, and more—how I go about caring for orphans is ultimately an issue to which I will answer to God. When it comes to adoption, whether it be “international” or “domestic”—each of us must follow what we feel God would have us do.

The Great Commandment and the Great Commission are Calls which are to be Universally and Indiscriminately Applied

Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind,” and “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-39). He also said, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28: 19-20). The Great Commandment and the Great Commission are the twin engines which propel the believer’s life. As we go about loving others and sharing the gospel with others, let us remember that we have a duty to love all and to make disciples of all. We are not to be picky with our love. We are not to be choosy about the recipients of our love.

Adoption is a wonderful journey. It’s a beautiful picture that reflects the love God has for us. As you walk down the path God has for you—whether it be “international” or “domestic”—remember that your adoption journey is God’s adoption journey for you.

May God bless you on your journey!

Permanent and Final

"Whatever the Lord pleases, he does,
in heaven and on earth,
in the seas and all the deeps." Psalm 135:6

After all the excitement, today we were able to rest a bit.

Benjamin took an afternoon nap (along with Daddy) and then we spent some time relaxing up on the roof of our guest house. There is a great view of the entire city, and there's also a play room where Mommy and Benjamin played with the fun balls.

We ended the afternoon on the swing. Every time the swing slowed down, Benjamin started rocking back and forth because he wanted to swing BIG. He also liked Daddy's sunglasses. Isn't he so cool?

The one To Do item today was our US Embassy appointment where we were to receive the original copy of Benjamin's birth certificate.

No cell phones. No cameras. No iPods. No electronic devices. No air circulating in the Embassy Offices!

We all took our passports and our babies and sweated our way through the hot and sticky rooms.

The final stage of the Embassy Office journey was a dingy 2nd floor room where we stood before an attendant behind thick glass. We stood there holding Benjamin, and the lady asked us to raise our right hands, swearing that the thick file in front of her was true and accurate. After we thought, "Do you realize how hard it is to raise your right hand while holding a baby?" we said "Yes."

A litany of Yes/No questions followed. With Amy being the one who has facilitated this entire process, Todd just stood there and let her answer. (Not a hard thing for Todd to do.)

The final question was "Do you realize that this adoption is permanent and final?"

We immediately thought "Permanent and final???" "You're asking us if we realize that this adoption is permanant and final??? Lady, you bet this adoption is permanent and final! We haven't prayed like this and come this far for things to not be permanent and final!"

We answered that "Yes, we realize that this adoption is permanant and final." However, as we said those words we wondered if the stoic lady behind the glass realized how permanent and final this adoption actually was.

We walked out with Benjamin and birth certificate in hand resting in the confidence that this was permanent and final a long time ago.

The United States government didn't make Benjamin's adoption permanent and final. The Ethiopian goverment didn't make Benjamin's adoption permanent and final. Our adoption agency didn't make Benjamin's adoption permanent and final. God is the One Who has made Benjamin's adoption permanent and final.

God knew that Benjamin would be a Brady long before the foundation of the world. We'll never understand the mysteries of how God worked, but he knew that Benjamin would have a Mommy and Daddy who would love him and that he would have three fantastic brothers who would share life with him.

"In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory." (Ephesians 1:11-12)

Permanent and Final.

God has made it so.

Permanent and Final.

What a Great Day!

We got him!

In the world of adoption, many call this the "Gotcha Day." But we think he is the one who may have gotten us--not sure which. Either way, Benjamin is with us.

Most of our friends who are in the United States are currently enjoying their afternoon, but our full day has wound down.

The four couples who are a part of our group filled out paperwork and had a brief orientation over lunch. We then headed back to the transition home to pick up our kids.

Benjamin stayed in Mommy's arms while we talked to the transition home nannies, nurses and doctor. How grateful we are for the good care and love Benjamin has received over the almost five months. Seeing all the workers kissing on Benjamin sure made us feel good. We asked his primary nanny what she might want us to do. Through a translator she told us, "Just love him and take good care of him." Not a problem!

On the way back to our guest house, we stopped at a local grocery to buy some extra formula for Benjamin. (While there, Mommy, Daddy, Grandmamma, and Grandad also picked up some chocolate and diet Coke…items which make us all feel better!)

At supper, Benjamin ate most all of Mommy's rice. Then we hiked up the five flight of stairs for bath time in our room.

After Benjamin had his bath (which we are told he loves--and which seems to indeed be the case), Amy decided to take a shower and then put him down for the night in his crib.

We made a pallet on the floor for Benjamin to play on until Mommy came back. Within a matter of minutes and before Mommy arrived, Benjamin scooted around in a circle four times, then lay down. In seconds, he was out like a light.

As he dozed off into La-La Land, he didn't make a noise. But we are confident he went to sleep tonight thinking "I'm finally with Mommy and Daddy, and I'm closer to home than I've ever been."

Our Benjamin!

We arrived in Addis Ababa, ate a quick lunch and headed to "meet" Benjamin. We were able to spend about 45 minutes with him this afternoon!

He was overwhelmed by the paparazzi of parents all teeming around and taking his picture, but he went to mom and everything was ok. He got a little nervous with the crowd, and his nervousness showed up in a big way in his diaper! We got him changed, took him back outside, and he immediately fell to sleep in Amy's arms holding on tightly to a new ball we had brought to him. Benjamin was then moved over into daddy's arms and he slept the rest of our visit.

Tomorrow afternoon, we head back to the transition house to get him. Then he is with us the rest of the way!

Meeting him today and holding him was the climax of a long journey. We love him so much, and after tomorrow, he will finally be with us.

Jack, William, and Isaac…Benjamin can't talk yet, but we saw it in his eyes--He can't wait to get home and meet his brothers!

Grandad and Grandmamma

When this adoption journey started many months ago, we invited both sets of grandparents to go to Ethiopia with us when the time came. Gram and Papa graciously decided to stay behind and keep the boys. Grandad and Grandmamma (Amy’s parents) graciously decided to go with us. What would we do without our parents? They have been wonderful throughout the whole deal.

Ed and Kaye Houk (Grandad and Grandmamma) are our fellow travelers. We met them at the Nashville Airport on Saturday morning, and we are excited that they will be with us each step of the way throughout the next week.

Grandad is a great photographer (most people would have to pay good money to have him along on such a trip)—so we plan on having some great photos from our trip. As he is 99.9% of the time, Grandad will be the one who has taken most of the pictures you see of us Bradys.

We left Nashville on Saturday for New York, and then it was off to Dubai where we will spend the night before heading to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. We should arrive in Addis Ababa on Monday morning—which will be during the middle of the night on Sunday in America.

Ethiopia is 7 hours ahead of our time.

Our plan is to post here as frequently as we can. We are elated that you are virtually going with us. We are told that there is internet service at the Guest House where we are staying.

Thanks for praying for us. Thanks for loving us. Thanks for journeying with us.

Grandad and Grandmamma, thanks for going with us!

Gram

While it doesn’t take a village to raise a child, we are finding that it takes almost an entire army to get ready to go across the planet to get one!

Having only four days to prepare for our international flight means that some serious wheels have been turning this week!

Where would we be without our friends and family? We are especially thankful for our church family—some of the greatest people on the face of the planet. We have known of their ongoing prayers and support, but folks have been coming out of the woodwork to help us as we prepare to head to Ethiopia.

There are so many details. Friends are mowing our yard while we are away. They are running errands for us—going to WalMart and other needed places. Folks are scheduled to do grocery shopping while we are away so that the life can continue at home for Jack, William, and Isaac. Friends and bending over backwards to help in any way they can.

Gram (Todd’s mom) is keeping the boys while we are away next week. Gram—the greatest Gram in the world has taken off work, has come to live at our house in Paducah, and is taking care of the boys. In some ways, she has the hardest job of anyone, but she will tell you there’s no place she’d rather be! As we spend the week on the other side of the planet, we’re sure glad Gram and her three boys will be doing life together. (The boys love taking funny face pictures with Gram.)

We’re also looking forward to coming home and introducing Benjamin to his Gram and Papa and his three brothers!

Thanks so much, Gram! We love you.

Thanks to everyone for your prayers for us on this journey so far.

Be sure and pray for Gram this next week. She has her hands full...and her heart!

Getting Ready to Leave...Going After Benjamin...Finding God in the Process

We leave tomorrow! Today is filled with last minute shopping, frantic packing, multiple phone calls, checking off list after list, mowing the yard, and making more final preparations to leave. And oh yeah, there's one more thing to do. We haven't even left yet, but we are already exhausted!

(We took a break from all the madness today to shoot the picture of us and our three boys.)

We're not sure which is harder--to travel across the world to get a child or to prepare the other three children to stay at home.

Tomorrow, we get on the plane in Nashville. In just a few days, we will have Benjamin with us there in Addis Ababa. In just a little over a week, Benjamin will call Paducah, KY home!

With each step along this journey, we are continuing to realize that this adoption is not so much about Benjamin as it is about God.

We are finding that there is indeed a hungering for God among folks in our church. Several families are experiencing God more than they ever would have imagined through the process of adoption. We are smack dab in the middle of that experience!

We can't wait to get our hands on Benjamin on Monday, and while we want to get our hands on him, God is the One who has gotten his hands on us!

Many have said to us "What a luckly little boy Benjamin is!" However, if anyone is "lucky," it's the two of us.

We are the ones whose lives are being changed, and we will never be the same.

Indeed, "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation" (2 Corinthians 5:17-19).

True Religion

A prayer as we pack and get ready to leave on Saturday...

LORD GOD ALMIGHTY,

I ask not to be enrolled amongst the earthly
great and rich,
but to be numbered with the spiritually blessed.
Make it my present, supreme, persevering concern
to obtain those blessings which are
spiritual in their nature,
eternal in their continuance,
satisfying in their possession.
Preserve me from a false estimate of the whole
or a part of my character;
May I pay regard to
my principles as well as my actions.
Help me
never to mistake the excitement of my passions
for the renewing of the Holy Spirit,
never to judge my religion by occasional
impressions and impulses, but by my
constant and prevailing disposition.
May my heart be right with thee,
and my life as becometh the gospel.
May I maintain a supreme regard to another
and better world,
and feel and confess myself a stranger
and a pilgrim here.
Afford me all the direction, defence, support,
and consolation my journey hence requires,
and grant me a mind stayed upon thee.
Give me large abundance of the supply of
the Spirit of Jesus,
that I may be prepared for every duty,
love thee in all my mercies,
submit to thee in every trial,
trust thee when walking in darkness,
have peace in thee amidst life's changes.
Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief
and uncertainties.

The Valley of Vision
Puritan Prayers and Devotions

Here We Go! Finding All in Him

We’re headed to Ethiopia this weekend!

For some time, we’ve been expecting the call to travel, but when it came this morning we still found ourselves overwhelmed.

We remember filling out the initial paperwork and putting it in the mailbox on March 10 last year. Now, here we are. A week from today, our son will be with us.

Today has been filled with frenzied phone calls, rearranged schedules, and even a quick trip to the hospital. In the midst of all the excitement, Amy fell down the stairs of our den and sprained her ankle. We are confident that she is going to live, but we’re not sure what Benjamin is going to think about that huge boot-like contraption on mommy’s foot when he first sees her.

When you’re in the process of adoption, lots of things go through your mind. Nine couples in our church are currently somewhere in the process of adoption! Our friends, Jody and Shannon Stivers got their son, A.J. today in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Needless to say, adoption is on our minds a lot these days.

Our adoption process has taught us a lot. While we have learned much about adoption and orphans and the needs of children, we have been overwhelmed by how God has used this process to draw us closer to himself and to show us more of Who he is.

Truly, this whole deal has been a lot more about God than it has been about Benjamin. God has given us a great love for Benjamin, but he has given us a greater love for himself.

Our adoption journey has caused us to realize the gospel in a way that otherwise we probably would have never known. Adoption is one of the greatest earthly pictures of the gospel.

God took the initiative, set his affection on us, came to us, revealed himself to us and rescued us. We “…once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds," but Christ has “…now reconciled [us] in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present [us] holy and blameless and above reproach before him...” (Colossians 1:21-22). Romans 8:15 has grabbed us, and we don’t think we’ll ever read over that verse as quickly as we did before—“For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry ‘Abba! Father!'”

Sometimes God doesn’t work the way you thought he would. Sometimes he does not answer our prayers the way we thought he would answer them. He works and he answers prayers better than we ever could imagine.

John Newton put it this way back in 1779:

I asked the Lord that I might grow
in faith and love and every grace,
might more of His salvation know
and seek more earnestly His face.

‘Twas He who taught me thus to pray,
and He I trust has answered prayer,
but it has been in such a way
as almost drove me to despair.

I hoped that in some favored hour
at once He’d answer my request
and by His love’s constraining power
subdue my sins and give me rest.

Instead of this He made me feel
the hidden evils of my heart
and let the angry powers of Hell
assault my soul in every part.

Yea more with His own hand He seemed
intent to aggravate my woe,
crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
humbled my heart, and laid me low.

“Lord, why is this,” I trembling cried;
“Wilt Thou pursue Thy worm to death?”
“Tis in this way,” the Lord replied,
“I answer prayer for grace and faith.”

“These inward trials I employ
from self and pride to set thee free,
and break Thy schemes of earthly joy
that thou may’st find thy all in Me.

We're going to get Benjamin this weekend--but we realize that we're getting a lot more than we ever imagined.

Christ is all.

Gospel-Driven Adoption

A group of our best friends spent three days with 7,000 people in Louisville, KY at the Together for the Gospel conference. We spent our time together with Jason, Tammy, Rusty, Kelley, Jeremy, Glen, Steve, Josh, Tommy, and Justin, hearing the gospel, singing the gospel, praying the gospel, and fellowshipping in the gospel.

We were reminded that the gospel is to be the foundation and focus of our lives and our churches. We were encouraged in the gospel. We were emboldened by the gospel. We were thinking and singing about the gospel. How good it was to be with our dear friends—and how good it was for us all to be Together for the Gospel.

Our greatest need is the gospel—God’s gracious work of redemption through the person and work of his Son, Jesus the Christ. We need the gospel. Folks in our church need the gospel. People in our community need the gospel. The almost 7 billion people on the planet need the gospel.

Indeed, “For Christ suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit” (1 Peter 3:18).

Indeed, “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21).

Throughout Together for the Gospel, our minds were often turned to ourselves, our three boys, and our church. Our thoughts were also very much with our fourth son, Benjamin (who turned one-year-old on April 13 in Ethiopia!) We are waiting any minute to get the call telling us that we will soon travel to go and get him.

God has given us a heart for adoption, but we are even more amazed at the heart that God has given us for himself and the gospel. We want God, but we want to want God a lot more than we currently want him!

For us, the gospel is motivating our adoption of Benjamin. We want the gospel to motivate our every thought, word and action. We want to give Benjamin a “better” life. We want to give him a “good” home. We want to bring him into our family. But more than all those things, we are praying for Benjamin to hear the gospel and embrace the gospel.

“So faith comes from hearing, and hearing from the word of Christ” (Romans 11:17).

Bringing him into our home will guarantee that he hears the gospel, and we are praying that the entire Brady Bunch might one day be Together in the Gospel.

Benjamin, Salvation, Children, Reflectors, and Lights...

Getting ready to go get Benjamin has got us thinking about salvation like never before. Even now, we are praying for Benjamin’s soul—just as we are for Jack's, William's, and Isaac’s.

In addition to adopting Benjamin, other circumstances have us thinking about salvation. We just walked through Holy Week and had a wonderful Easter celebration with our church family. Our church is hosting an upcoming funeral for a couple from another faith tradition who were tragically killed last week. In addition, for the last couple of months a father at our church has been talking with Todd about his daughter’s salvation. The father recently called and wants for him and his daughter to have lunch with Pastor Todd to talk about what God has been doing in her life.

Jesus told his disciples, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God” (Luke 18:16). He also said “The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit (John 3:8).

God’s work of salvation is a mysterious miracle.

God’s work of salvation in the life of a child is an even more mysterious miracle.

As parents, we want to be faithful to the words of Deuteronomy 6:6-7—“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

We’re teaching God’s Word to the boys as diligently as we can. We are talking about his commandments every chance we get…when we’re at home, when we’re walking by the way, when we’re lying down, and when we rise. Literally, all the time!

Shepherding children in the midst of God’s working of salvation requires parents’ diligence and discernment. Too often, children are easily swayed into receiving false assurance about salvation and are not properly equipped with the understanding of what God has done or may be doing in their lives.

We have the responsibility to lead our boys to Christ, and we have the responsibility to ensure that they understand God’s salvation to the best of their ability. Therefore, we teach them.

When the father in our church called Todd about his daughter, he said that a while back his daughter had said she “asked Jesus into her heart.” The father responded by asking her what she meant by “asking Jesus into her heart”—making sure that she had an understanding of the simple gospel. He was elated that his daughter not only spoke of God’s love, her sin, Christ’s death, and her repentant trust in Christ, but that she also showed observable signs of a new heart in her everyday living.

Several weeks ago, Daddy got a new bicycle. Four-year-old William asked what the red thing on the back was. Daddy explained that it was the “reflector,” and that at night when a car’s light shines on the bicycle, the light would reflect (like a mirror) and people would be able to see Daddy riding his bike.

For several minutes, William tried to say “reflector.” He said, “flerector.” He said, “lefector.” He said, “relector.” After growing increasingly frustrated, William said, “Daddy, I’m just going to call it a ‘light,’ because ‘flerector’ is too hard to say.”

Daddy said, “No you’re not, because it’s not a ‘light.’ It’s a ‘reflector.’”

Kids need guidance. They are continuously learning about the realities around them, and they need the right words which correspond to the realities they are experiencing—especially for something as important as salvation.

We are praying that God will give us wisdom as we give our boys the kind of guidance they need.

My Parents are Coming Soon!

How about that smile!?!

We’ve been getting regular updates on Benjamin since we received his referral. And while we’re ready to go over there and get him, it sure is good to get information and pictures!

As you can see, Benjamin is looking good. He’ll be a year old on April 13 and he’s up to 17 pounds. We are thankful for the good care he is getting at the transition home there in Addis Ababa. He’s creeping some and trying to crawl, and he’s even able to stand with a little help.

He’s recently had an upper respiratory infection and the Chicken Pox but is better now. Since Jack, William, and Isaac haven’t had the Chicken Pox, we’re glad Benjamin got that out of the way before he comes home!

Our newest picture of Benjamin makes us think that he knows we’re on the way!

We are, Benjamin. We're on our way.

Your parents are coming to get you, and we'll be there soon.