The Covenant of Adoption

This is DiscipleNow weekend in Paducah—an entire weekend for students to spend focused, concentrated time seeking the Lord with other students. We are praying for God to show himself mightily in the lives of our students over these 36 or so hours.

As DiscipleNow began with opening worship, we were reminded of the differences between contracts and covenants.

When people enter contracts, they seek to minimize their responsibilities and maximize their rights. When people enter covenants, they live to maximize their responsibilities and minimize their rights.

Take a look at many aspects of society, and you’ll probably see more evidences of contracts than covenants. Friendships are too frequently contractual in nature. Marriages are often seen as contractual agreements where both the man and the woman unfortunately seek to advance their rights and to retreat from their responsibilities. How sad it is that so many parents seem to be shirking their responsibilities to love, care for, and raise their children—and are seemingly doing as little parenting as possible so that they might have more time to make the most of what they consider to be their rights.

We’ve filled out lots of paperwork over the last year, and we’ve signed our names more times than we care to remember. We travelled to Louisville, KY this past summer to get our fingerprints recorded. And while some might see this adoption as merely a contract, it’s more than that—it’s a covenant.

On May 8, 1999 when we said our wedding vows to one another in Nashville, TN, we entered into covenant. When Jack was born on November 15, 2003 and when William was born on January 8, 2006 and when Isaac was born on November 20, 2007, we realized again and again and again the responsibilities of our covenant relationships with our boys. We are learning every day that parenting is not about rights, but responsibilities.

Adoption is a covenant. We are vowing to Benjamin that we are going to bring him into our family and that we are going to parent him. In coming years, we will be driven by our responsibilities as parents—not our rights.

“Behold, the days are coming, declares the LORD, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah, not like the covenant that I made with their fathers on the day when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt, my covenant that they broke, though I was their husband, declares the LORD. But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the LORD: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they shall be my people. And no longer shall each one teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying, ‘Know the LORD,’ for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest declares the LORD. For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more” Jeremiah 31:31-34.

God graciously made a covenant with us through Christ.

“And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, ‘Drink of it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins’” Matthew 26:27.

“For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba Father!’” Romans 8:15.

As we think about God’s covenant with us, we want our faithfulness to our children to be a reflection of God’s faithfulness to us.

Little Boys Having Lunch

It's a special treat when mommy says the boys can sit on the den floor and eat lunch while watching one of their videos on television. The risk of spillage is great, but with plastic place mats, Nalgene drink bottles, and ongoing encouragement to "make sure your crumbs fall on your plate," these moments allow mom uninterrupted time to get some other things done around the house.

Pretty soon, we will have four little boys eating lunch in the den! And if they spill their drinks on the carpet, no big deal. We're much more interested in the character of our boys than we are in the spotlessness of our carpet.

Good News for Friends and More Photos for Us

Congratulations to our friends Jody and Shannon Stivers who heard yesterday that they passed court! We are elated for them and look forward to their bringing AJ home soon.

We received more pictures of our Benjamin today by email from Audrey and Ty Ferrell who are currently in Ethiopia picking up their child. They were so gracious to snap some shots of Benjamin, and we wouldn't take a million dollars for the photos.

As soon as we pass court, bet your bottom dollar that we'll post a photo of Brady Boy #4!

Adoption and Reconciliation

All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

The Boy in Striped Pajamas is the terribly confronting story of two eight-year-old boys in Germany who become friends during World War II. Bruno is the son of the German commandant who oversees a Jewish work camp. Bruno explores life beyond his house and there finds Schmuel, his friend who wears striped pajamas and lives inside a barbed-wire camp. Innocence fades as Bruno’s friendship with Schmuel deepens. Meanwhile, the commandant’s family struggles as Bruno’s father tries to remain committed to nationalistic interests while simultaneously working to keep his family oblivious to the horrors of Nazi Germany.

You will need to see the movie for yourself. Suffice it to say, however that the story causes one to feel the obvious clashes that often exist between loyalty, truth, friendships, and family.

Indeed, the era of world history which produced the Holocaust vividly reveals the depravity of humanity. Reflecting on the Holocaust inevitably leaves one panting for hope.

While the Holocaust, and particularly The Boy in Striped Pajamas do not inspire hope, the Christian is simply unable to think about such tragedies without reminding himself of the redemption which is found in Jesus Christ. In the face of despair and hopelessness, Christ brings strength and hope. As Maltbie D. Babcock reminds us, “This is my Father’s world. O let me ne’er forget that though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the ruler yet.”

God certainly is the ruler. There are many times every day when his rule may be questioned. However, regardless of circumstances, he is the ruler. And one day, all things are going to be made right.

One day, there will be no more pain. One day, there will be no more suffering. One day, there will be no more tragedy. One day, there will be no more orphans.

There will soon be four little boys in our house. And they won’t just be buddies—they’ll be brothers.

One day, we will have our family together. And while it will not be that Day of no more pain, suffering, tragedy, or orphans, it will be a foretaste of that Day when God makes all things right.

Not By Feeble Sense

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea,
And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.

William Cowper
1731-1800

Faith to Wait

We didn’t pass court…again.

The first time we didn’t pass court, we were somewhat prepared. Our adoption agency had told us that many don’t pass the first time around. They also told us that many have several court dates before they eventually pass.

Hearing that we didn’t pass this time was a tough pill to swallow. In a way, there has been a real sense of grief around our house tonight.

Again, an Ethiopian agency didn’t meet their deadline to turn a letter in to the court, and we are finding ourselves paying the consequences. We have to wait another two weeks—March 23—for our third court date. Another two week wait? Surely, the third time will be a charm.

To be honest, we are disappointed. We’re seeing more and more pictures of Benjamin, and with each picture our hearts are being knitted closer and closer together. We are more than ready to go get him. We are more than ready to bring him into our family.

There is absolutely nothing we can do but wait. We started this blog because we thought we’d soon be in Addis Ababa and that we’d be posting pictures of our newest Brady boy. But this blog is currently being used as a venue for us to share about the unplanned stops along the way.

Now, we are being told that if we pass court on March 23, we probably won’t travel until June—much later than we had expected. Until then, our desire to go get Benjamin will only grow. With each passing day, we miss him and feel as though we are missing out on precious and valuable time.

In his excellent little book, Humility: True Greatness, C. J. Mahaney says “It takes faith to wait tranquilly for something for which we have a promise from God, but no date. Waiting is not resignation; waiting is active trust in God to provide fulfillment in His perfect timing, according to His ultimate purpose of glorifying His Son.”

We keep having to remind ourselves that this is not about us. From the beginning, we have been motivated by a desire to join God who sets the lonely in families.

Sometimes, setting the lonely in families takes a little longer than expected.

We need God to give us faith to wait.

Friends for the Journey

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Our adoption goes before an Ethiopian judge again on March 9. While we are sleeping on Monday night, Benjamin’s adoption case will go before a judge. We didn’t pass court on the first round a couple of weeks ago. We hope all goes well this time.

We recently heard about some friends who are also adopting from Ethiopia through a different agency. They didn’t pass court last week. The reason? The electricity in the courtroom went out on the day of their hearing. Whatever. Who would have thought?

God has been good to put some friends from our church smack dab in the middle of our lives. In fact, the Stivers family is walking with us step by step along the same journey we are travelling. Over a year ago, Shannon and Amy were talking at dinner one evening about our adoption. After joking about the possibilities of adoption they said, “What if both our families ended up adopting? It could be Brady-Stivers Ethiopia 2010!”

Well, now here we are a year later, and indeed, it’s Brady-Stivers Ethiopia 2010! Jody and Shannon are adopting a four-year-old boy named A.J. Their first court date was the same as ours, and they too didn’t pass court. Now their court date is March 8. We are hoping that we both pass court this week. How crazy would it be if both of us were on the same trip, flying in the same plane to the same country to get our boys!?! God has certainly done crazier things.

Whether or not we end up going through this whole journey together, it’s been so good to walk this path together and we’ll always remember this time in our lives. We’ve had lots of conversations about this process. Our families have grown closer. It’s been especially fun to listen to our seven children talk about their soon-coming brothers. We’ll never forget those special moments of our families sitting on the floor and praying together while the little ones climbed and crawled all over their mommies.

We pray we will pass court on March 9. And we also pray—thanking God for giving us such friends to walk this road with us.

God is more than good to us.