The Brady Bunch!

Putting Things in Perspective

We haven't figured out yet where we are going to display this picture of Benjamin's father, but his tired eyes and weary face are clear reminders to us of the divine privilege and God-ordained responsibility which we have to parent Benjamin.

Poor. Widowed. Childless.

We very much feel like he is a part of our family.

This picture also reminds us of the silliness and pettiness which are too often a part of our little American lives.

Giving and Gaining

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.

Jim Elliot

Loving Miss Ruby, Knowing God, and Adopting Benjamin

Twelve years ago this month, a dear, godly lady named Ruby Schoonover gave Todd a copy of Knowing God by J.I. Packer (InterVarsity Press, 1973). Knowing God is not just one of those books you read. It is a book you read and read again and again and again. You mark it up. You highlight it. It's pages are brown at the edges. You devour it.

For two years, Todd preached the gospel in Miss Ruby's church. Twelve years and four boys later, we still find ourselves reading in this classic. Little did we know that Packer's words about adoption in chapter 19 would one day resonate so profoundly with us. What we once acknowledged with our minds, we are now experiencing with our hearts and lives. Adoption is a rich theological concept, but at our house adoption is now more than just a concept--he's a boy named Benjamin who is crawling around on the floor!

You should have and devour your own copy of Knowing God, but here are some choice words on adoption from Packer:

What is a Christian? The question can be answered in many ways, but the richest answer I know is that a Christian is one who has God as Father.

If you want to judge how well a person understands Christianity, find out how much he makes of the thought of being God's child, and having God as his Father. If this is not the thought that prompts and controls his worship and prayers and his whole outlook on life, it means that he does not undertand Christianity very well at all.

Our understanding of Christianity cannot be better than our grasp of adoption.

Our first point about adoption is that it is the highest privilege that the gospel offers.

To be right with God the Judge is a great thing, but to be loved and cared for by God the Father is a greater.

Our second point about adoption is that the entire Christian life has to be understood in terms of it.

Adoption, by its very nature, is an art of free kindness to the person adopted. If you become a father by adopting a son or daughter, you do so because you chose to, not because you are bound to. Similarly, God adopts because he chooses to. He had no duty to do so. He need not have done anything about our sins except punish us as we deserved. But he loved us; so he redeemed us, forgave us, took us as his sons and daughters and gave himself to us as our Father.

We love you Miss Ruby!

Why?

According to an international Children's Ministry Organization,


25,000 children

throughout the world

DIE

every day

from MALNUTRITION and PREVENTABLE DISEASES.


With this being the case, what are we doing playing the kinds of games we are playing with our lives?

God Moves in a Mysterious Way

Dear Matiwos,

As we write these words, it is Monday morning here in America. The Monday sun has already shone on Ethiopian soil for most of your day. We can hardly believe it, but there are four little boys who have just begun to stir in our home. We thank God for Jack, William, and Isaac. And at this time, we are especially grateful for Benjamin.

Arriving home and watching his three brothers welcome him was simply more than we could take in. There were kisses and hugs galore. We will never forget the boys touring Benjamin throughout the house and showing him every nook and cranny of his new home. The best line of the evening was “Benjamin, this is YOUR room!” Indeed, there is no doubt that he is a very real part of the Brady Bunch!

Thank you for making the time to travel the long eight hour journey to Addis Ababa to meet us and have a brief time together on Saturday. We realize that you may never read these words, but writing them seems so helpful to us.

We will never forget our momentous meeting on that Saturday morning before leaving Ethiopia.

How heartbreaking it was to hear of Abayenesh’s death just hours after Benjamin was born on April 13, 2009. Since you were married to her for just two years, we can only imagine how deep your pain of loss continues to be. It was such a delight to hear you talk about Benjamin’s mother the way you did.

We grieve with you that a simple lack of medical attention cut her 24-year-old life short. We are so thankful for the diligent effort that you and your in-laws made to keep Benjamin for five months. However, we are also thankful for your belief in God and his Son, Jesus Christ, and for your trust in God’s providential watchcare over him. How difficult it must have been to hand him over to the orphanage—not knowing what would eventually happen to him.

On your side of the planet, life seemed to be falling apart as you lost your wife and only child. But simultaneously God was stirring in our hearts and preparing us for another son here on this side of the world.

God has given us a love for Benjamin that cannot be explained. We know that your heart-wrenching loss has resulted in a divine and overwhelming blessing for us. We will never understand the particulars of God’s workings, but “…we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

As we said through two interpreters on Saturday, we promise to provide for, protect, and parent Benjamin. We promise to love him. We promise that he will be able to have that which you have always longed for—an education.

We continue to be overjoyed at your belief in God and His redemptive work through Christ. You may rest confidently in the fact that Benjamin will hear the gospel. He will be raised in a God-centered, Christ-exalting, gospel-driven home, and he will hear often the good news of God’s great mercy for us in Christ.

Hearing that you are a singer in your small Christian church makes us realize why Benjamin loves music! The nannies at the transition home told us, and we have seen it for ourselves—whenever he hears music, Benjamin immediately begins dancing.

As we laid our hands on you and prayed for you on Saturday morning, we promised to continue praying for you for the rest of our lives. We will. How grateful we are that you now have pictures of our family. How grateful we are that we now have pictures of you. We look forward to Benjamin learning about you and the God whom you love.

More than ever, we are now mindful of the fact that “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28).

John’s vision seems clearer than ever to us—“After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, ‘Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!’” (Revelation 7:9-10)

As we all gathered around Isaac’s crib late last night, all things seemed as they should be. As we have sung each night for months, we sang again, “Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world.”

We pray for you. We thank God for you. We love you. We love Benjamin, and we thank God for His only Son, the Christ, whom He has given to us.

May each of our mysterious and divinely-ordained stories bring much glory to our great God in the years to come, and we look forward to that day when He will finally make all things right.

Your son’s parents,

Amy and Todd Brady

Visiting Orphans...Remembering Their Plight...Doing What We Can

Today we toured two orphanages--one which once housed Benjamin for a few days before he came to our adoption agency's transition home. The visits were tough to endure as the conditions were less than acceoptable, but we of course fell in love with the many children living there. In light of our visit, and in light of the fact that there are over 144,000,000 million orphans in the world, we call your attention to words which we recently wrote on our blog, and we hope that you will consider what your response will be to the plight of orphans in the world.

Are you reading this because you're thinking that adoption might be for you? Perhaps you're considering adoption--something you have never thought about before. Maybe you're sitting there thinking, "A while back, I would have never even considered adoption." Now look at what is happening!

Here are some thoughts that might be helpful to you as you think about going down the road of adoption.

How do you confidently move forward through the process of adoption when so many questions and uncertainties continuously swirl about you? Not only are there your own questions like, “Are we going to be able to pay for this? How is this going to work? Will a new child fit in well with our family?” or “Are we out of our minds?” Others are also asking questions. Sometimes, well-meaning friends and family members ask questions which can sometimes be discouraging and unhelpful. Let’s just admit it. The occasional question flowing from a critical spirit of another person can often be like a cold, wet blanket thrown over expectant parents’ joyful enthusiasm about their soon-coming child.

Traditionally, people in the United States have adopted both domestically and internationally. In 2009, over 12,000 children were adopted from other countries. Adoption currently seems to be growing more popular among Christians as churches are waking up to the mandate to care for orphans (James 1:27). Several families in my church are in the process of adoption, and I know of many others elsewhere.

One of the most repeated questions about international adoption goes something like, “Why would anyone adopt from a foreign country when there are so many children who have needs right here in our own country?”

Indeed, there are truckloads of needs when it comes to the children of our own society. Over 3 million child abuse cases are reported every year in the United States. More than half a million children languish in our foster care system. However, understanding that 147 million orphans live on the planet, the following realities are great reminders as each of us seeks to walk the adoption journey God has laid out for us.

Different People Live Out Their Convictions Differently

The “calling” of God is like a snowflake—no two callings are the same. Each of us certainly has the responsibility to live our lives and do what we feel is best for us. However, all of us are different, and we all go about living our lives in different ways.

When we decided to adopt our son, we found ourselves with three children already and desiring to add to our family as quickly as possible. As what hair Todd did have was quickly turning gray, we each realized that neither of us was getting any younger! So with a desire to minister to a child by bringing him into our family and with a desire to go about doing this as quickly and as affordably as possible, we chose to adopt a male infant from the country of Ethiopia. This was the simplest, quickest, most affordable, and best route for us.

Should everyone adopt a male infant from Ethiopia? Of course not. For us, adopting from Ethiopia is the right thing for us at this time. Is domestic adoption a great way to care for orphans right here in our own country? Absolutely! Whatever you do, be faithful to God, live with conviction, and do what is best for you.

Doing Something is Better than Doing Nothing

Yes, there are millions of needs right around us. Yes, there is much that we can and should do to care for orphans and needy children in our own country. However, the question pitting international adoption against local needs may very well be a veiled disguise of a heart which simply longs to do nothing.

Todd's grandmother used to say, “It takes little size to criticize.” A century ago, Teddy Roosevelt famously said,

It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.

If you are called to do something, don’t allow others to prevent you from doing what you know you are supposed to do.

The Greatness of Needs Everywhere Should Not Prevent Us from Doing Something Somewhere

A boy was walking on the beach. Every so often, he would pick up a starfish and throw it back into the ocean—saving the starfish’s life by tossing it back into the water. Someone said to him, “There are starfish all over the beaches throughout the world. When you think about how many there are, don’t you realize that you’ll never make a significant difference?” The boy thought for a moment, looked at the starfish in his hand and said, “Well, I’m making a difference for this one!”

Truthfully, none of us will ever make a world-wide impact which garners the accolades of millions. However, such a thought should not immobilize us. There are plenty of needs to go around. Let each of us seek to be about meeting needs—alleviating pain and suffering wherever we can.

Ultimately, Each of us is Responsible to God

As I live my life, I must remember that I am to live my life. I do not have the responsibility to live another person’s life. There is only one head which I lay on my pillow each night—mine. And ultimately, I am responsible to God.

In the end, only God and what he thinks matters. In the end, we will all have to answer to him. In the end, the accounting will be with God. As in how I spend my money, how I use my tongue, how I treat my neighbor, how I treat my body, and more—how I go about caring for orphans is ultimately an issue to which I will answer to God. When it comes to adoption, whether it be “international” or “domestic”—each of us must follow what we feel God would have us do.

The Great Commandment and the Great Commission are Calls which are to be Universally and Indiscriminately Applied

Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind,” and “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-39). He also said, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matthew 28: 19-20). The Great Commandment and the Great Commission are the twin engines which propel the believer’s life. As we go about loving others and sharing the gospel with others, let us remember that we have a duty to love all and to make disciples of all. We are not to be picky with our love. We are not to be choosy about the recipients of our love.

Adoption is a wonderful journey. It’s a beautiful picture that reflects the love God has for us. As you walk down the path God has for you—whether it be “international” or “domestic”—remember that your adoption journey is God’s adoption journey for you.

May God bless you on your journey!